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New Cubs Curse: Paycheck Envy
Written by wrigleyville   
Wednesday, 27 December 2006
My friends, the recent free agent signings by the Cubs and other Major League teams have brought forth a terrible epidemic on our great land - originating in newsrooms and spreading to the public doorstep by doorstep, computer screen by computer screen.

It is an epidemic that brings out uncomfortable feelings in paunchy white men. Side effects include sarcasm, incredulity and - worst of all - hackneyed prose.

That's right: Paycheck envy is sweeping the nation. From Knoxville to Bristol to Springfield to Philadelphia, this insidious disease is causing feelings of bitterness, bloviating and condemination of contracts awarded to baseball players. Good ones, bad ones, tall ones, short ones. It doesn't matter. Paycheck envy doesn't discriminate.

Sadly, there is no vaccine for this condition. And the cure - paying columnists what they believe they are worth - would kill the newspaper industry.

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