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Bill Simmons: I'm So Very Wonderful
Written by wrigleyville   
Friday, 14 December 2007
Bill Simmons provides the most self-indulgent answer ever to the most sycophantic question ever (and proves that he doesn't know the difference between farther and further):

Q: I saw that you missed the real shot and made the first postgame shot in your "E:60" piece. I guess now you know the difference between Tom Brady and Peyton Manning, or David Ortiz and A-Rod.-- Joe W, Farmville, Va.

SG: Believe me, I'm going to be rehashing that shot for the next 50 years. At shootaround, my first few shots kept falling short before I realized that an optical illusion was screwing me up.

Because of the glass backboard and the distance of the seats in the background, an NBA rim looks slightly closer than it is. (After watching this happen firsthand, this has to be why so many half-court shooters end up short with their attempts -- they don't know that they should aim two feet further than they think they should be aiming, if that makes sense.) Once I adjusted for that "illusion" I realized that my maximum distance for a half-court shot with a three-step walkup -- assuming that my form was the same each time -- was the middle of the square on the backboard. I couldn't launch it any further without screwing up my form, which was good because I now knew exactly how hard to push on my release.

That's why I was so confident before the shot, because there were three possible scenarios (swish, back rim, bank) as long as I kept the ball straight, which meant I had a two-in-three chance of making it or coming close. What I didn't anticipate was that my adrenaline from being in front of 15,000 people would push the shot further than any of my shootaround attempts, so when I aimed for the back of the rim, the ball carried higher than I wanted and banked on the top of the square. I missed it by two inches. Although it's probably a good thing -- if that shot went in, you never would have heard the end of it and I probably would have hopped around pounding my chest like an idiot.

Anyway, here's my advice to anyone who ever shoots a half-court shot during an NBA game: Take a three-step/one-dribble jog towards the half-court line; release the ball from your chest and raise your right foot like you're shooting one of those 1950s set shots; and aim for the back of the rim (not the front of the rim). If you keep it straight, you'll have a chance. By the way, I couldn't be more available to film one of those cheesy "How To Make a Half-court Shot" instructional videos along the lines of those shooting videos with J.J. Redick that they always show on NBA TV.

For the record, "farther" refers to distances. "Further" does not.

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