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A Tale Of Baseball Cheapness
Written by wrigleyville   
Saturday, 24 March 2007
So I'm driving to Home Depot this afternoon and listening to the Washington Nationals and St. Louis Cardinals spring training game. That's right, Home Depot. ("Well, um, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.") Apropos of nothing, the announcer tells us that the Washington Nationals Radio Network and some insurance company (forget which one) will donate $100 to the Boys and Girls Club of Washington for each home run the Nationals hit at RFK this year. Sounds nice, right? Hardly. Consider: 1. They are donating money only for home runs hit at RFK, a notoriously bad home run park. 2. They are only donating $100 per home run. 3. The Nationals suck. So let's do the math: As a team, the Nationals hit 74 home runs at home last season - with nearly a third of those coming from Alfonso Soriano (24). In 2005, the Nationals hit 46 home runs at RFK. Generously splitting the difference, we'll project the Nationals will hit 60 home runs at RFK in 2007 - meaning the Washington Nationals Radio Network and this insurance company will give a grand total of $6,000 to the Boys and Girls Clubs of Washington. $6,000. And that gets them at least one mention on 81 (and presumably 162) Washington Nationals regular-season broadcasts this season, not to mention spring training games? Between Wrigleyville and The Sarge, we here at Wrigleyville23 can basically swing $1,000 a month over a six-month season (if I fire the nanny, but whatever). We very well may need to sponsor something else for the Nationals, since they are selling out area charities so cheaply (while bragging about their generosity). It certainly won't be the "call to the bullpen," because there will be thousands of those. Cheap jerks.

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