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Barry Bonds Is Confused
Written by wrigleyville   
Thursday, 25 October 2007
Barry's retirement luncheon. A good time was had by all.


Barry Bonds apparently believes baseball is a job for life - much like the General Motors of the 1950s. At a ceremony in his honor yesterday, he complained that he "got fired" from his job with the Giants.

The 43-year-old home run king heard a long list of his accomplishments read during a special speaking forum Wednesday night hosted by the Commonwealth Club, then was asked by KGO Radio host Ray Taliaferro if he'd really reached all those feats. Fourteen All-Star game selections. A record seven NL MVPs. Eight Gold Glove awards. "I did, and then I got fired," Bonds told a group of about 450 people in the audience. "Shame on me, huh?"

Using this logic, Willie McCovey and Willie Mays should still be playing for the Giants.

Perhaps a reassignment would have been more to his liking. When workers outlive their usefulness in some fields, sympathetic bosses may (or may not, more likely) find other jobs they are still able to do. Like special assistant in charge of realignment strategies or some such.

In baseball, that could be a greeter at the suites. Barry's demeanor, however, makes him ill-suited for this job. He could be the PA announcer, though doesn't like to work days after nights. He could sell peanuts, clean bathrooms, shag balls.

So, our plea to Giants management: Find a role for Barry, you heartless bastards.

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