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I'm Sorry, So Very, Very Sorry
Written by wrigleyville   
Tuesday, 04 September 2007
The United States to Japanese Americans (or American Japanse?) in World War II internment camps. The U.S. Senate for the nation's history of lynchings. Mike Nifong to the Duke lacrosse team. That time I pushed my brother down the stairs.

Now, Carlos Zambrano has bravely come forward to do as so many before him have - to say he's sorry. Big Z apologized to Cubs fans a day after his Labor Day meltdown.

"First of all, I want to apologize to the Cub fans," Zambrano said. "There were moments yesterday when I was angry. Human beings, when they're angry, they say a lot of things they shouldn't say. I am human. I made a mistake. The good thing about myself is when I make a mistake, I know I have to apologize and I know I have to do the correct thing. It's coming from my heart. I love these fans, I love Cub fans -- they're the greatest fans in baseball. They have the right to boo people, to do whatever they have to do. They've been waiting for 98 years [for a world championship]. Sometimes we don't do a good job, and they get frustrated."

On behalf of all Cubs fans in Delaware County, Pennsylvania, I accept your apology. In fact, I deem it wholly unnecessary. I know you are the fourth craziest Venezuelan. And you're an emotional guy. You say what you think. Good for you.

That said, I would like to do some apologizing of my own. It's good for our relationship.

First, I apologize to Carlos for calling him the fourth craziest Venezuelan. He probably is the third craziest Venezuelan and we've been selling him short.

I apologize to Antonio Alfonseca for thinking "It takes you six fingers to throw that pitch?" (He only gets one apology, though I thought it every time he did it.)

I apologize to Kyle Farnsworth for thinking you were a good pitcher just because you're a good fighter.

I apologize to Michael Barrett for giggling when he lost half of his junk. And for calling him "One Nut" all season.

I apologize to Rex Grossman for saying he is the Ronny Cedeno of the NFL. He is actually the Corey Patterson of the NFL. He does just enough well to make you think he's worth a damn.

Finally, I want to apologize to all of the Cubs. Not for caring too little, but for loving too much. It put unnecessary pressure on the relationship and led to unreasonable expectations. For that, I am deeply, deeply sorry.
That's all for now. I'm feeling better already. Feel free to add your own heartfelt apologies. It's cathartic.

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