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"The Office" Quote of the Day
Written by wrigleyville   
Tuesday, 29 January 2008
To ease my suffering through the Hollywood writer's strike, and to hopefully gain a few chuckles and masculine butt pats from my peers, I've decided to rehash some of my favorite quotes from my favorite TV show--"The Office."

Today's installment comes to us from the conference room, where Michael is moderating a conflict resolving scheme between Jim and Dwight. Oh, how the hilarity ensues:

[Michael begins reading off complaints filed by Dwight.]

Michael: "Okay, so Dwight, in your own words: "Someone replaced all my pens and pencils with crayons. I suspect Jim Halpert."

Michael: "Everyone has called me 'Dwayne' all day. I think Jim Halpert paid them to."

Jim (cut to talking head; laughingly): "Yes. Five bucks each, and it was totally worth it."

Michael: "This morning, I found a bloody glove in my desk drawer, and Jim Halpert tried to convince me I committed murder. I think he may be the real murderer."

Michael: "Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the women's room, when I went to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can."

Michael: "This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone."

Jim (cut to talking head): "That actually took a while. I had to put, uh, more and more nickels into his handset until he got used to the weight, and then I just took them all out."

Michael: "Every time I typed my name, it spelled 'Diapers.'"

Jim (cut to talking head): "Just a simple macro. You know, these actually don't sound that funny, one after another. But he does deserve it, though."

Michael: "By the end of the day, my desk was about two feet closer to the copier."

Jim (cut to talking head): "Yeah, I just moved it an inch every time he went to the bathroom, and that's how I spent the entire day that day."

And, scene. I was rolling on the ground once Jim revealed how he did the nickels in the phone prank. That's brilliant! I can't wait to try it on my boss. Nothing wrong can come out of that. Anyway, 17 days until pitchers and catchers report. I hope this starts off your Tuesday off on the right bubble-wrapped foot. Only four more work days until the weekend!

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