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Written by wrigleyville
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Saturday, 22 November 2008 |
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With Mike Downey thankfully put out of our misery, Al Campbell of the Philadelphia Inquirer seems determined to give Bill Conlin and Bill Plashke some serious competition for worst sportswriter in America. Every Saturday morning, in his "Extra Cheese" column on page two of the Inquirer, Campbell unleashes a heaping helping of nonsense.
This morning, he joins the rest of perpetually aggrieved Philly sportswriters by complaining that Albert Pujols was named MVP over Ryan Howard and Lou Piniella beat out Charlie Manuel for manager of the year:
But the bigger crime this postseason was Charlie Manuel's being snubbed yet again. Lou Piniella, manager of the year? Are you kidding me?
OK, I know, the voting is based on the regular season only, and the Cubs had the National League's best record in the regular season. But preseason sports books had the Cubs at 12-1 to go all the way, while the Phillies were 18-1. The Cubs should have finished with a better record.
Al Campbell clearly has no idea how odds are established or that eternally optimistic Cubs fans always skew the odds. Anyway, there's more:
Manuel is calm and cool under fire, beloved by his players - and (at last) the fans as well. Piniella? He is the fire, beloved by . . . ummm, let me get back to you on that one. You can't spell "loud" without L-O-U. He even made a TV commercial in which he goes out and screams compliments at the umpire. This is not a man with an unfair reputation. He has earned it.
The Phils finished first because of Charlie's calm, guiding hand. The Cubs finished first despite Piniella's fire and brimstone.
Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell, Brad Lidge and Cole Hamels? Nope. Charlie Manuel. And his Forrest Gump-like kindness.
Believe it or not, this is one of Campbell's better efforts. Three weeks ago, he whined about the lack of a roof on Citizen's Bank Ballpark:
So after that agonizing, two-day, excruciating rain-and-wind-besotted delay, after all the dust (and mud) has settled and the trophy is safe in Philly for the next year, we are left with two questions: Was that weather debacle really necessary? Why doesn't our baseball park have a retractable roof?
If Selig was not going to let the Series be decided by a rain-shortened game, fine. He could have suspended that game an inning earlier.
As for the open-air park, Milwaukee, with a population of a little more than 570,000 (1.5 million metro area), has a palace with a retractable roof. And Brewers fans have not been as likely to see postseason weather as the Phillies in recent years. Yet Philadelphia, with a population of 1.4 million (5.8 million metro area), is still living in the stone age. When folks from other parts of the country come to town to live or work, they inevitably ask, "How do you dress for Philadelphia weather?" My reply is always, "Buy a space suit, because that is the only way you will be able to guarantee a particular climate."
So many questions: What does the size of city have to do with anything? And people "inevitably" ask how to dress in the winter? And they ask you? And that is your answer? I'm pretty sure he made that up, or he knows just one person who has moved to Philly to live or (not and) work. Either way, I doubt they talk to him much after that, as he's not particularly helpful.
Call me radical, but when you spend $346 million for a house, is it too much to ask to have a roof on it? Particularly when a town less than half our size and a metro area less than a third as populous as ours has a Taj Mahal?
"Radical" isn't the word I was thinking.
He also likes to make note of headlines from around the world of sports and then add his comments. Here's one from last month:
WASHINGTON - The Washington Redskins were ordered to provide deaf and hard-of-hearing fans with "equal access to aural content" in the team's stadium, such as music lyrics, ads, and other broadcasts on the public-address system.
Campbell: I don't know if FedEx Field is anything like the Linc, but it seems to me that the level of cacophony at an NFL game has to be one of the leading CAUSES of deafness.
Hoo! That's rich! Keep in mind: Someone is paying this man to write this.
And this from last week:
'Pacman' could return to NFL
Campbell: Hey, George Blanda played to within a month of his 49th birthday, which is what Pacman could be looking at - if his behavior improves.
Man, 73, scores 2 points in college hoops game
Campbell: Whoa. Did they make the Proposition 48 waiting period longer? Wonder what his SAT scores were?
Phillies seek new ball girls
Campbell: What's wrong with the ones they already have? The friendly confines of Citizens Bank Park must have taken a heavy toll. Or maybe the position comes with term limits.
Police: Golfer John Daly drunk, detained
They tell us over and over: Don't drink and drive. Or putt.
Every week, someone at the Philly Inquirer thinks it's a good idea to publish this. They are wrong.Labels: Al Campbell, Bad Journalism, Philadelphia Inquirer
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