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Iowans Get Busy At Hubert's Place
Written by wrigleyville   
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Well, this is certainly interesting: A couple of University of Iowa fans took a break from Saturday's game at the Metrodome against the University of Minnesota to have some illicit sex in a Dome restroom, police said. Was it the sex that was illicit or the fact that they were doing it during a football game? Illicit is defined as "not legally permitted or authorized; unlicensed; unlawful" or "disapproved of or not permitted for moral or ethical reasons." So it could be either, really. The duo — a 38-year-old woman and a 26-year-old man from Carroll and Linden, Iowa, respectively — turned a handicapped toilet stall into their love nest about 8:30 p.m., late in the Hawkeyes' 55-0 trouncing of the Gophers. A handicapped stall? More room, I suppose, but that would seem to make it more illicit. I once emerged from a handicapped stall at work (I had not used it for sex) only to find a very angry man in a wheelchair waiting to use the stall. I was chagrined and have not used one since. A crowd of intoxicated fans gathered in the restroom to laugh and cheer the off-the-field action, until an Avalon Security guard tipped off University of Minnesota police to the ruckus. Officers had to interrupt the intimate moment to cite the couple for indecent conduct, a misdemeanor. Damn security guards. And there are a lot of details missing from the above paragraph: Men's restroom? Women's? What "intimate moment" precisely was interrupted? University of Minnesota Police Chief Greg Hestness said similar citations at the Metrodome or on campus usually involve public urination. Public urination and public sex are not all that similar. Unless the sex was very illicit. He said it was the first time in his six years at the U that his force has interrupted a sex act during a Gophers game. Usually they just let them continue. Hestness assumed the woman was embarrassed about being caught: She initially gave a false name to officers and had to be identified by her husband before she was released. I'm confused. Why would he have to identify her. Weren't they ... The man was attending the game with his girlfriend, according to police. Wait, what???!?!! She was at the game with her husband and he was there with his girlfriend? They went to the bathroom to cheat?!? And didn't think they would get caught? "It's a long ride back to Iowa," Hestness said. Illicit indeed.

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