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Philly Inquirer Notes Assishness Of City Sports Fans
Written by wrigleyville   
Saturday, 25 October 2008
Philly talk radio types - especially this one - spent the week whining about national media portraying the city's sports fans as a bunch of hoodlums. "Not fair!" "Cliche!" "Trite!" they claimed. Actually, it's not. Fans take great pride in being asses here. They imagine themselves engaged in some odd turf battle with Cowboys fans, Giants fans, Mets fans, Redskins fans, and anyone who doesn't view wearing a jersey the height of fashion on a Friday. Now, the Philly Inquirer is giving tips to Tampa fans on how not to get killed on the city's south side: Anyway, you have nothing to fear. As long as you follow these few commonsense guidelines, you should leave here with nothing worse than a fractured clavicle: Make sure your health insurance premiums are paid up. Pack heat. Do not wear Rays gear, assuming there is any Rays gear and, if there were, anyone would wear it. If you arrive early for Sunday's game, do not, under any circumstances, wander into the Eagles' parking lots. (If you're confused, the Eagles' lots are those where the balloons of nitrous oxide are going for $20 and the tailgaters are grilling Dallas fans.) The last out-of-town baseball fan who made that mistake was cornered, beaten, and forced to watch Eagles Post Game Live. Because, you know, you'll get your ass kicked. Get it? Charming people.

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