Cecil Cooper, The Anti-Dusty

While the manager in Cincinnati worries about walks clogging the bases, the manager in Houston frets about his Triple Crown threat hitting rally-killing home runs.

Even slugger Lance Berkman, one of the hottest hitters in baseball this season, resorted to dropping a bunt single in the eighth inning, with the Astros down by four. It was only the second bunt single of his career and first since 2002.

"That's a good play," Cooper said of Berkman's decision to bunt with the third baseman playing him deep. "That's a baseball player's play. It's a nice job. We need baserunners. If you hit a ball out of a ballpark, I call them rally-killers when you get down like that. We need to keep a rally going, and that was a nice play to me."

This was the eighth inning. Astros down 5-1. Thanks in part to Berkman guaranteeing he would not kill the rally with a home run, the Astros lost ... 5-1.

Perhaps we could get Dusty and Cecil together to use Berkman, Bruce & Co. to lay down empty-base bunts.

Around The Blogs: Houston Astros

It's hard to play Around The Blogs when opposing team's blogs aren't doing their part - namely not blogging. Such is the case with the Houston Astros. Nobody seems to be following them (cyberly).

There's an SBN blog, an MVN blog, and a place called Spikes 'n Stars, which doesn't seem to like interleague play too much.

Other than that, I found a few blogs that haven't been updated in months. Am I missing others?

Revisiting Preseason WV23 Predictions

As we've just passed the quarter pole of the 2008 season, let's revisit the official Wrigleyville23 NL Central projections. Here is the predicted order of finish, with records:

1. Cubs, 89-73
2. Brewers, 85-77
3. Reds, 83-79
4. Cardinals, 76-86
5. Pirates, 75-87
6. Astros, 74-88

Here are the current standings:

1. Cubs
2. Astros
3. Cardinals
4. Brewers
5. Pirates
6. Reds

So ... two out of six correct. Which is pretty good, because I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Around The Blogs: St. Louis Cardinals

Wading into the cesspool that is Cardinals fandom (despite what the hypocrite Marty Brennaman has to say), we preview this weekend's series by perusing Cardinals blogs. That's how much we care about you, the Wrigleyville23 reader:

The haughtily named Cardinals Diaspora uses video proof to demonstrate the top 10 reasons the Cubs suck. Really? You need video for that? (Update: Thunder Matt's Saloon deftly mocks and dismantles the Diaspora's post here.)

The sabermetric-y Fungoes cleverly asks "Is Brandon Backe a liar or just a bad pitcher?" - and uses numbers to find out. I didn't finish reading the whole post, though I'm not sure the two are mutually exclusive.

The Cardinals Virtue attempts to look on the bright side and say the Cards may be even better than they appear at this point, even though they are in first place.

And, finally, The Gas House Gang is keeping track of things.

I would have linked to more, but it seems many Cardinals blogs are updated once a week or so.

Wherein We Solicit Feedback

Wrigleyville23 has two official favorite blogs of other teams in the NL Central: Chuckie Hacks, which is quite entertaining even though I hate so much the things they choose to be, and Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke?, which is well-written and somehow makes the Pirates almost interesting.

That said, we do not have official favorite blogs from the Cardinals, the Astros or the Reds. Suggestions? Nominations? Please leave them in the comments.

If you can't come up with any from the Astros, I understand.

Cardinals, Astros Bicker Over The Weekend

Is there a team that the drunken Cardinals don't fight with?

NL Central All-Time Records

For those wondering what the all-time records are for each of the NL Central teams, we are here to help:

St. Louis Cardinals: 9,856-9,203 .517
Chicago Cubs: 9,999-9,465 .514
Cincinnati Reds: 9,681-9,388 .508
Pittsburgh Pirates: 9,632-9,397 .506
Houston Astros: 3,661-3,684 .498
Milwaukee Brewers: 2,931-3,274 .472

For perspective sake:

The Cubs would have to finish 20 games below .500 for 27 consecutive years to fall to .500. The Cubs have to win their next 113 games to reach the Cardinals' level of .517. Seems doable.

The Brewers would have to finish 20 games above .500 for 17 consecutive years to (almost) reach .500. They have done this five times, though none since 1992.

The Astros merely need to finish the remainder of this season 23 games over .500 to reach .500 (unlikely).

ESPN Calls Tejada A Liar, Liar Pants On Fire

And, they say, he faces all kinds of problems because of it:

Tejada's age, what he said when he signed his first baseball contract and what he has told Major League Baseball ever since raise legal questions about his immigration status in the U.S. They also raise the possibility that any deceit might be added to a perjury investigation of Tejada -- an investigation requested by a congressional committee looking into the use of performance-enhancing drugs in baseball.

Other than that, it was a great trade for the Astros.

Backe to Pooholes: Don't Mess With Texas

Story (via an Astros blog) here.

Unfortunately for the Astros, Grandpa Albie proceeded to hit two homeruns in last night's game. Further proof that Albert Pujols is a jerk.

P.S., do yourself a favor and peek at the Colleen Dominguez post here.

The Official Wrigleyville23 NL Central Projections

Happy Opening Day!

Here are your official Wrigleyville23 2008 NL Central projections - in case you can't bear to sit through 162 games over the next six months and just want to know how it will all turn out. It's all right here:

1. Cubs 89-73. The Cubs will start slow (again) and pass the fading Brewers on August 7.

2. Brewers 85-77. The Brewers will start fast (again) and be passed by the surging Cubs on August 7.

3. Reds 83-79. They would win the division, except Dusty Baker made Corey Patterson the starting center fielder.

4. Cardinals 76-86. Even worse if Albert's elbow needs to go into the shop.

5. Pirates 75-87. A pleasant surprise. But still fifth.

6. Astros 74-88. I just don't care enough to write anything about the Astros.

Note: These were done off the top of my head and with no formal research or training. No computers were involved - other than the one I'm typing on, but it doesn't know how to do baseball projections. Just searches for Erin Andrews pictures. And online poker. But mostly searches for Erin Andrews pictures.

Anyway, you can compare them to the computer projections here.

Kaz Matsui Has a Pain in His Rear

He was removed from a game on February 29 because of hemorrhoids. Get well soon, Kaz.

Facing The Astros? Look For The Changeup

Astros pitching coach Dewey Robinson has an idea on how to change things up this year for Houston pitchers: More changeups.

"The better it is, the more it looks like a fastball, and that's what they want to hit -- the fastball," Robinson said. "They go out to get it and it's not there yet. If we expect to compete and to beat teams like that, we need to have that pitch -- whether you're a starter or reliever."

Got that everyone? Look for the changeup. Unless this whole thing is a ruse. Or a changeup of sorts. Changeup is a funny word.

Oh, those clever Astros. I don't know what to believe now.

The Cubs And Their Testicles

With the latest testicle injury to the Cubs (Felix Pie, if you care to read about it), it seems the Cubs have a disproportionate share of injuries to their junk (see Barrett, One Nut).

But "seems" isn't good enough here at Wrigleyville23. We decided to test it scientifically, with the most scientific tool known to man - Google.

We Googled each of the National League Central teams and testicle to see which team had the most hits. Here, in an unimpeachably scientific format, are the results:

"Chicago Cubs" testicle: 13,700.

"St. Louis Cardinals" testicle: 4,410.

"Houston Astros" testicle: 3,810.

"Pittsburgh Pirates" testicle: 3,410.

"Milwaukee Brewers" testicle: 3,100.

"Cincinnati Reds" testicle: 705.

So, there you have it: The Chicago Cubs lead the National League Central in testicle references.

Andy MacPhail Got Away With One

The Miguel Tejada deal, looking better and better for the Astros.

Of Orioles, Astros And Would-Be Cubs

Phil Rogers imagines Brian Roberts-related things are falling into place with the Tejada deal.

The departure of Tejada leaves the Orioles in need of a shortstop and would make them extremely thin up the middle if they also traded Roberts. That could mean the Cubs put Ronny Cedeno, Eric Patterson or even former Orioles first-rounder Mike Fontenot in a trade for Roberts. If Sean Gallagher goes to Baltimore in a Roberts trade, that would mean Andy MacPhail has added three potential 2008 starting pitchers without trading one. Might that give the Cubs a chance to expand the Roberts negotiations to include Erik Bedard? Things are getting interesting.

Then again, Phil Rogers said Kerry Wood was all but gone hours before Kerry Wood re-signed. But we won't hold that against him, because we support bringing Roberts/Bedard to the Cubs.

An NL Central Riddle

Q. What is worse than signing a somewhat unknown quantity for four years and $48 million?

A. Trading for a rapidly declining known quantity for four (or five players). And that known quantity is going to cost $32 million over two years. And he really likes vitamin shots in his bottom.

Good Job, Astros

The Astros save Jim Hendry from another goofy signing by giving Kaz Matsui a three-year, $15 million contract.

That's not to say it's a bad signing by the Astros - or it would have been fatal for the Cubs - but, really, how many poor to mediocre second basemen do you need? And for three years, when Eric Patterson is waiting in the wings?

(It must be fascinating to watch Jim Hendry eat a meal. You can almost see him ordering five identical side dishes in rapid succession while he lets the main course get cold. That very well could be how he ended up hooked to an EKG at last year's winter meetings, actually.)

Anyway, Maddog says the next natural target is Christian Guzman - aka the worst player in baseball, though I think it might be the kid in this picture.

First Trade Of Winter Meetings!

Brad Lidge will be blowing saves in Philly next year.

NL Central Manager Power Ratings

The Pirates apparently have a new manager - John Russell, the manager of the Phillies' Triple A team. Which apparently is in Lehigh Valley. Apparently.

So, John from Lehigh Valley is new, Dusty from ESPN is new-ish, Lou is a year in, Ned gets to stick around (inexplicably), Tony isn't going anywhere (why didn't he skedaddle?), and I have no idea who the manager is in Houston and I'm not in the mood to Google it to find out.

Therefore, here are the first-ever Wrigleyville23 managerial ratings for the NL Central, possibly to be updated once someone tells me who the manager is in Houston.

1. Lou Piniella. Because, well, the Cubs won the Central. And he's Lou. And I'm a homer. But mostly because he's Lou.
2. Tony LaRussa. I could manage Pujols to 78 wins.
3. John Russell, because he's not Ned or Dusty.
4. Whoever is managing in Houston. See No. 3.
5 (tie). Dusty Baker. Because of everything that happened during and after October 2003.
5 (tie). Ned Yost. Because of everything that happened after mid-June 2007.

And, yet, you can certainly see the Brewers winning the Central next year, and maybe even see the Reds being competitive if you squint hard enough.

Winning ... It Beats Losing

A wildly comfortable half-game lead after the Cubs remember that chicks dig the long ball.