Must Love Dogs

Well, Jim Hendry has done it. Jim Edmonds is a Cub. He will be wearing royal blue pinstripes. He will be teaching Fukudome all there is to know about puppies. He'll attempt to faux hammer Fontenot into the ground. He'll smile into the WGN cameras and we'll all despise him. It just doesn't feel right one bit.

I'm not the kind of Cub fan who'll instantly boo Edmonds when he dogs it into CF for the first time today. After all, he is now a part of the team and I'll never root against any Cub. That doesn't mean that I still don't hate him.

Who really knows how this will turn out? Maybe he'll hit .200 and get cut in a month. He may hit .260 and stick around. If the Cubs win, I can live with it. However, this a more uncomfortable situation than a dinner party at Michael Scott and Jan Levinson's place. Woof.

P.S., if you haven't read this, do yourself a favor and check it out. It's all you need to know about Jim Edmonds.

Thunder Matt Hostage Crisis Continues

Seems as though bunny-hops in the outfield are tricky business. Yesterday, the Cubs had the opportunity to bring up Thunder Matt Murton from Iowa to take Soriano's place in the lineup. As of this morning, Murton is hitting .333/.333/.458 with an 8/4 BB/K ratio. Granted, he's been all singles so far and only has 2 RBI in 12 games, but you and I know that he'll do more than that eventually.

Well, conventional wisdom would be to call him up? Right? Riiiiiight? The last thing this Cubs braintrust (I'm looking at you, Hendry) is known for is conventional wisdom.

Instead of replacing a bonafide hitter in LF with another bonafide hitter who plays LF, the Cubs call up K-Strut's little bro. I don't have much against Eric Patterson, but we all know that he'll just rot on the bench until Hendry either realizes the err of his ways and calls Murton up or until Soriano returns.

In the meantime, Mike Fontenot will get the majority of the playing time at 2B with DeRosa moving to LF. Normally, this LSU-swollen lineup would really get my gears going. But, it's just senseless to continue to ruin a good player's career in AAA when this was the ideal time to bring him up, and at the very least, showcase him for a trade to somebody who wants him.

Shame on you, Jim Hendry. You, sir, are a gingerist.

Marshall, Murton Headed to Des Moines

Carmen Pignatiello will serve as the lone lefty in the bullpen as Sean Marshall well head to Iowa to help their starting five. Matt Murton also heads to Iowa and remains trade bait.

I hate seeing this happen to Murton, mainly because I really want him to be good and be good for the Cubs. However, he stands no chance of being an everyday player with the signing of Fukudome. Reed Johnson's signing just buried his chances of being the 4th outfielder.

Whatever happens to Murton, I hope Hendry does him a solid and sends him somewhere where he can play every day.

Cubs, Orioles "Starting To Get Serious"

Jim Hendry and Andy MacPhail have moved from holding hands and occasional kissing to the "getting serious" stage of their relationship, which reportedly involves heavy petting and multiple consecutive night sleepovers. Hendry also is keeping spare clothes and a toothbrush at Andy's place, so something is bound to happen real soon. Really. Soon. Honest.

Jim Hendry, Telling It Like It Is

Jim Hendry tells what really happened with Mark Prior ... and other things.

Note to Jim Hendry: It's not 1999

Apparently, the Cubs have decided to relive history. I give you, the return of one Jon Lieber. Don't shoot the messenger, folks.

Actually, this might not be all bad. Prior signed for $1M guaranteed, but can make upwards of $4.5M in incentives with his deal with San Diego. Lieber's deal is believed to be worth $3.5M for one year. Considering that Lieber was a fan favorite with the Cubs in his glory days, and that he'll actually be around to pitch, this could be a decent signing for the Cubs.

Ken Rosenthal also speculates that this signing could signal a trade of Jason Marquis or Ryan Dempster. Hmmm...or, could it signal an attempt to provide depth in the wake of an impending blockbuster Roberts and Bedard deal, just prior to the Cubs Convention?

McDonough To NHL; Hendry To Porn?

In a Cubs.com story about John McDonough going to the Blackhawks, Hendry talks about his new profession as well:

"Wood is getting a lot of action around the industry," Hendry said.

Um ... that's what she said.

A Glaring Cubs Oversight

By the way, why hasn't Jim Hendry offered Marcus Giles a contract yet? He fits the profile perfectly.

Signing A-Rod "Doesn't Make A Lot Of Sense"

So says Jim Hendry, who also adds:

"He's a tremendous player. Anybody would love to have him on their ballclub," Hendry said. "But we feel great about our third baseman and we've committed a tremendous amount of money to three or four long-term contracts. And for the needs that we have, as great as he is, we have to address some other issues. And to tie up that much of payroll, when you already have an All-Star at third base, doesn't make a lot of sense."

Because, of course, A-Rod can't play shortstop.

The official Wrigleyville23 position is it would be goofy for the Cubs to sign A-Rod. But saying "we already have a third baseman" is not a real reason, not when he would be light years better at shortstop than anyone since Ernie Banks (total package-wise).

Might Cubs.com Be Wrong?

Carrie Muskat in Cubs.com on Monday:

I don't foresee any major moves, but for the team to continue to add from within the system.

Jim Hendry in the Chicago Tribune on Wednesday:

ST. LOUIS -- Keeping Cliff Floyd healthy has been more difficult than anyone imagined, and it's a concern that may force the Cubs to acquire another outfielder before the July 31 trading deadline. General manager Jim Hendry may be in the market for another hitter for the lineup. "I'd like to tinker with [the roster] if we could," Hendry said.

Jacque Jones, Cub For Life

Jim Hendry's stated reason for Jacque Jones still being a Chicago Cub:

"It wasn’t really a good deal for us,” Hendry said. “We got close in one scenario, and talked to some other clubs (Monday), and I’ve got an other scenario. At the end of the day, I just felt like I wasn’t going to get rushed into it and make a deal that I didn’t think was good for us, so it didn’t get done.”

Translation: "We would have had a massive shortage of below-average outfielders if we traded Jacque, so I just couldn't stand to see him go."

Jim Hendry Is Lying

Nothing to see here, says the Cubs general manager:

"The (Mr. Met) fight had nothing to do with it. The Rich Hill situation, that's normal major league baseball every night. It just happened to be seen and blown out of proportion. That happens all the time. It wasn't even discussed in-house about being an issue. ... We just felt like we were trying to shore up the position in a little different fashion, a little bit more defensively."

He did say, however, that he wanted a catcher with a full complement of nuts. So the Cubs did come out ahead on that front: Two nuts for one (and cash). Good deal.

"My Name is Jim, and I'm Addicted to Left Fielders..."

Entering this season, the Cubs' strategy could best by summarized in the immortal words of Homer Simpson's best friend (and town drunk) Barney Gumble: "I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the next case, there's only one case left." All we need to do is substitute "Jim Hendry" for "Barney Gumble" and "left fielder" for "case of beer."

Well, fortunately for us, Jim must have stumbled into a Leftfielders Anonymous meeting at some point in the past week because Matt Murton just got sent to the minors. While it's not too late for Murton to rebound and have a productive career, it is probably too late for it to happen with the Cubs. Now, he's another notch in the belt of Cubs' executives who kill promising, young careers with the same gusto as outlaws of the old West.

Jim Hendry Trying To Sign Dale Jr.

A Wrigleyville23 Exclusive!

CONCORD, N.C. - Jim Hendry secretly traveled to the heart of NASCAR country on Friday in an attempt to sign free agent Dale Earnhardt Jr. to a multi-year deal with the Chicago Cubs, sources said late tonight.

Upon hearing that Earnhardt is looking for a new team after a falling out with his mother-in-law, Hendry flew to North Carolina to meet with Earnhardt and his agent about joining the Cubs as a second baseman - or possibly a left fielder - beginning in 2008.

"Jim has always believed that you could never have too many young left fielders or second basemen," the source said. "Dale Jr. is neither of those things, but Jim also has always believed you can turn people into things they are not."

When asked for examples, the source pointed to LaTroy Hawkins and Corey Patterson. "It's a wonder those guys never played left or second for the Cubs," the source said.

Hendry declined to say why he was in North Carolina when questioned by Wrigleyville23 correspondents, other than to say "You should try one of these corndogs."

Todd Walker Is Available (Again)

And it seems the Cubs only have three second basemen on their roster. Jim Hendry had better get him signed, pronto.

Jim Hendry, Captain Hot Seat

Jim Hendry is the general manager on the hottest of hot seats, according to SI.com in listing the top 10 vulnerable GMs. Ahead of the guy who drove the Mariners into the ground. Ahead of the guy who signed Gary Matthews Jr. Ahead of Jim Bowden even.

Jim Hendry, No. 58

Jim Hendry is the 58th best general manager in all of sports, according to Forbes. This list must be taken with a tub of salt, however, as it ranks Kevin McHale No. 1 and Billy King No. 3.

Jayson Stark, Enabler

Chuckie Hacks catches an unnamed general manager taking a shot at Jim Hendry for the Cubs' offseason spending.

Good of Jayson Stark to let this brave man do that anonymously.

No Mark Prior Photos Today ...

... for those of you who come here to get your fix. But we do have this lovely picture of Lou Piniella and Jim Hendry. I'll leave the captions up to you.

Don't Ask Silly Questions, Lou

Dammit, Jim, why do we have three left fielders,

one right fielder and no closers?

(AP Photo)

Feel free to add your own caption....