Closers Atop The NL Central: Not So Good

Worried about Kerry Wood? Perhaps, but it could be worse. And it is for the other alleged favorites in the National League Central:

Jason Isringhausen, St. Louis Cardinals, 1-4, 7.47, 11 Ks, 8 BBs, 11 saves, 5 blown saves.

Kerry Wood, Chicago Cubs: 2-1, 4.00, 17 Ks, 3 BBs, 6 saves, 3 blown saves.

Eric Gagne, Milwaukee Brewers: 1-1, 6.14, 17 Ks, 10 BBs, 9 saves, 5 blown saves; UPDATE: 1-2, 6.89, 11 BBs after today (all other numbers the same).

Not only that, the Cubs have a more than viable substitute should Kerry not work out.

I Do Not Think Lou's Stupid, or Something

Further proof that I adore Lou Piniella.

Look, yesterday sucked pretty hard. The Cubs staked Carlos a 2-run lead against a pretty good pitcher in Gallardo. Carlos Marmol came in and dominated, as usual. Kerry Wood blew a two-run lead and lost the game. I hate it just as much as you do.

I know, I know...Ryan Dempster only blew three saves all year last year and Wood has three through 31 games. He actually blew this lead against the bottom of the Brewers lineup, which features the Ned Yost Pitcher-Hitting-Eigth Specialty (even thought that spot was probably already subbed by a PH--semantics). I still have faith in Kerry, and I'm pretty sick of the alarmists that are clamoring for him to be assassinated (like I saw in the HJE SBox yesterday afternoon).

What I do sorta hate is that Lou left Alfonso Soriano in the game instead of having a Reed Johnson/Felix Pie outfield. Soriano supposedly (I didn't watch the game because I don't have that fancy TeeVee moving image box thingy at my office like some people) didn't react well to the ball hit over his head by Gabe Kapler, but who's to say that Reed wouldn't have reacted the same way? Regardless, it was a puzzling move to leave Alf in the game with a lead, especially with Soriano coming off a leg injury in his first game back. What would I have done? Well, my only MLB experience comes via the XBOX 360, however, I would have probably subbed Felix for Soriano and moved Reed to LF.

The Cubs are 17-11. That's not terrible, folks. We're only through 31 games and the Cubs have a big series upcoming against the Cardinals who are inexplainably (I bet that's not a word) in first place. Relax, have a beer and get ready for some good weekend baseball. Hopefully.

P.S., Fukudome was 4 for 4 with two outfield assistsesses at home. His OBP has to be close to infinity (actually .455). He should be hitting second. Alfonso should be hitting fifth. At the very least, Lou should swap Reed and Theriot. Also, Geo Soto is a stud.

Cubs Win! Times 10,000

And it only took 10 innings and a big home run by Aramis Ramirez, a blown save (and win) by Woody, a game-winning RBI by Ryan Theriot and a save by Carlos Marmol. Of course, the 10,000th win is always the hardest.

Alfonso Soriano, Injured By A Hop

This tops Sammy's sneezing, Woody falling in a hot tub and Mark Prior injuring himself by being Mark Prior. Just ridiculous.

Cubs Mailbag Is Closed To Musical Suggestions

Please, Carrie Muskat is a very, very busy person. Leave her alone already:

For another Kerry Wood theme song, what about "Karn Evil 9" by Emerson, Lake and Palmer. The first lines are, "Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends."
-- Fred VH., Carroll, Iowa.

Stop the music -- and the e-mails. Cubs fans sent me more than 700 song titles for Wood. Bryan R. of Peoria wrote "Terminator" by Sevendust would be best; Bruce B. of Crown Point, Ind., thought "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath would work; Bill S., of Round Lake, Ill., says Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock" still rocks; Andrew M. of Waterloo, Iowa, suggested "Swing" by Trace Adkins. A few people liked "Enter Sandman" by Metallica. Brandon J. of Decatur, Ill., was among many who said "Wild Thing;" and Lucas C. of Stoughton, Wis., and Troy H. of Rockford, Ill., both wanted to hear the Woody Woodpecker theme song (I'm not making that up).

Among the song titles Skip S. of Albuquerque threw out were the Chicago Bears "Superbowl Shuffle." Scott N. of Duluth, Minn., liked Beethoven's Fifth Symphony and Jeffrey C. of Lexington, Ill., suggested "You Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer. Casey Y. of Washington, Ill., thought "Sweet Home Chicago" would be good. Other suggestions included "Working Man" by Rush and Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." Also, need to note that "Knock on Wood" isn't the correct title of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones' song. It's actually, "The Impression That I Get."

The music varied from the Irish "Kerry Polka" by the Tossers (thanks Aaron D. of Chicago) to the funky "Super Bad" by James Brown to the theme song from "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."

And, many thought organist Gary Pressy was enough. There was this from Keith B. of Elgin, Ill.: "These suggestions are ridiculous. I cannot believe something other than a riff on the organ is even being suggested."

Thanks for all the songs, but please send all future ideas to the Cubs' marketing department.

Kerry Wood Has A Request

Be nice to Dusty, he says:

"I'll be excited to see him," Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood said. "People forget he was the first manager in a long time to have back-to-back winning seasons. Eight years ago, if you would've talked about a guy coming in and turning the organization around and winning in back-to-back seasons, they would've said, 'We'll take it.'

"Obviously, it didn't end the way he wanted it to, and the way we wanted it to end," Wood said. "Dusty puts his heart and soul into whatever team he manages. I think the players understand that, and people around him on a daily basis understand what he puts into the game. I hope [the fans] treat him well."

Seems reasonable.

Carlos Marmol Is The Cubs Closer

But only on Monday, as Lou says Woody will get the day off against the Pirates even if it is a save situation.

Lou Piniella Is A Genius

Alfonso Soriano leads off, the Cubs win. Pretty simple, apparently.

Oh, and Woody. Nice.

Woody O' Woody

What are we to make of our beloved Kerry Wood?

He came to us with the promise of the next Roger Clemens and Nolan Ryan -- the next generation of Texas heat dominating Wrigley and the NL for two decades. He certainly teased us with the 20Ks, then tantalized us with his magical stretch run in 2003. Even wowed us with his HR in Game 7 of the NLCS in 2003, when we were looking for that "sign" that would give us hope that Bartman could, indeed, be overcome.

He was bigger than Ryno ... bigger than Sosa ... bigger than Santo. Dare I say, bigger than Ernie during this small, too small, window of dominance.

So any Cub fan with a heart -- and we all know that heart really the only thing Cub fans have going for us ... after all, we need something to break every year -- had to look at 2008 not only as the year that we end The Streak ... but that Kerry Wood would be the one who would still lead us there. Only this time, it would be his Texas heat locking down the Ws for our above-average starting staff and saving our World Series aspirations.

Instead, a man more resembling Mark Prior than Roger Clemens emerged from left field yesterday and imploded against the wanna-be Brewers.

It's only one game. But still, one must ponder: Is Kerry Wood's legacy to be our Moses to the Promised Land. Or our latest incarnation of The Goat.

If the Season Ended Today...

...the Pirates would be co-champions. I know that could never happen, the co-champion and Pirates part, but you get my drift.

Back away from the ledge. Relax. We may agree that Marmol is the best reliever we have, but Wood's merely a one-inning pitcher these days and I think he'll be good in the closer's role. We have a really good bullpen. Yesterday's performance was a farce. Wuertz, Marmol, Howry and Wood are downright scary, and you know it.

One thing I do take exception with is Fukudome in the fifth spot. Ken Rosenthal seems to believe that Fukakke's debut in yesterday's game is the be-all, end-all for Lou's lineup agonies. As mentioned here, the top of the lineup was pretty pitiful. I think DeRosa and Fukudome need to be at the top of the lineup. Theriot needs to hit eighth. However, we can make our own encarnations of Lou's lineup, but he'll do what he'll do no matter.

The point is this: it's finally baseball season. Even though it's poo nasty outside in Chicago and the ivy won't bloom until mid-May, the Cubs are poised to do work this season. Do work, indeed. And, at least we're not the Pirates.

Kerry Wood Throws Baseballs Real Hard

Kerry Wood hit 101 mph on WGN's radar gun in the 9th inning of the Cubs' final Spring Training game today. Len noted that the park's gun was registering slightly higher pitch velocities than the WGN radar guns. I'm not a mathemagician, but that means Kerry was gassing.

I hope with every fiber of my being that he can stay healthy this year.

Wrigleyville23's Top 10 Bullpen, At-Bat Songs

LOHO is pondering what Kerry Wood's call-to-the-bullpen music should be, though he apparently doesn't think he needs any. We tend to agree, as it will all sound like Lady of Spain on that organ anyway.

But what are the best - and preferably unused - call-to-the-bullpen songs? At-bat songs? Here is the official Wrigleyville list (made up solely of songs currently on my iPod and linked via YouTube):

1. Mommy's Little Monster - Social Distortion: From the opening chords to the chorus to Mike Ness' voice, it's the perfect song for badassery on a baseball field.

2. Sweet Home Chicago - Blues Brothers version: You think that wouldn't be fun at Wrigley?

3. Love Theme From The Godfather - Slash: Sure it's slow, but it's The Godfather and it's Slash. Plus, it's the perfect length. Whatever you do, watch the linked video.

4. Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana: The 30-somethings would dig it, especially starting at the one minute mark.

5. Jump Around - House of Pain: Just to annoy the Wisconsinites.

6. Sex Machine - James Brown: A little funk never killed anybody.

7. A Little Less Conversation - Elvis Presley: "Satisfy me, baby..."

8. Nookie - Limp Bizkit: Fun song, and a good message for the kids.

9. Flowers On The Wall - Statler Brothers: Any song that mentions Captain Kangaroo is OK by me.

10. Whole Wide World - Wreckless Eric: Starts slow, then kicks in nicely 50-some seconds in - just as he reaches the mound.

This Is All Nutsack's Fault

I'm sorry, Kerry. I warned Nutsack not to get all cocky, but he wouldn't stop. And now you're broken.

Lou tries (and fails) to make us feel better about Kerry Wood's latest malady:

"It's a little bit of a setback but nothing, nothing serious," Cubs manager Lou Piniella said Wednesday. "It's a minor thing he goes through every spring."

You see, Lou, the "minor thing he goes through every spring" is no minor thing.

Morning Wood

Yesterday: 1.0 IP, 1 K, 0 R, 0 H, and a save. 97 mph fastball. 85 mph curve. 88 mph slider. Suck on that, National League.

Kerry Wood, Closer?

I cannot begin to say how much I want this to end up being a happy story.

Brian Roberts Hostage Crisis Blabbering of the Day

The Cubs have apparently upped their offer to the Orioles for Brian Roberts.

If I may, from experience with MLB 2K8's virtual Cubs and virtual Orioles, a package of Gallagher, Marquis and Cedeno could get this deal done. There's also a nice option that enables you to make his trade no matter how the opposition feels about it. Handy.

Officially, I think giving up the organization's three best pitching prospects kinda blows. However, we've seen how Mark Prior turned out. And Angel Guzman. And Kerry Wood. Whatever...just get the deal done already. Hearing about this trade every day is getting worse than having to hear about Britney Spears forgetting her underbritches.

Interesting Blurb at the Bottom of an Uninteresting Article

Scroll all the way down to #9 on this list for today's Cubs pants-wetting news of the day. Looking at the salary figures owed to Marquis in this article makes one realize just how inept the front office leadership of this franchise has been.

After you're done jabbing yourself in the eye with a rusty rail-tie, scroll back up to #6. I have mixed feelings about the State of Mark Prior. As much as I'd like to see him succeed in a Cubs uniform, I can't shake that "on the other hand" feeling I get thinking about him making millions of dollars wallowing in his own filth in a 90-degree whirlpool. Hopefully, it'll get lonely there, being that his good friend and DL confidante/mental updater Kerry Wood will be chewing thunder and crapping lightning this year.

In other baseball news, it seems that the Twins and Rays are close to a blockbuster deal, which would include some of baseball's best young talent/umpire-bat-thrower-atters. Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday, knowing that a 5.00-plus ERA is worth around $8 M in today's free agent market. Cheerio.

Check Out the Brain on Prior

As we all know, the Cubs recently signed Kerry Wood to a brand spankin' new one-year, $4.2 M contract. What we aren't aware of is the provision in his contract that dictates he must update us, the unwashed fandom, on Prior's mental status. Taken from a Paul Sullivan article in which Wood explains a conversation he had with Prior after the season:

"Mentally, he sounds great," Wood said. "I know he's going to come in ready to prove something. Mentally, I think he's in a better place than he's been in the past with his injuries. He knows the work he has to put in and that it's all going to be worth it whenever he gets back. He's starting to look at the light at the end of the tunnel."

In my contract with Wrigleyville23, I am obligated to assess the assessment. So, here's my assess-assessment. Mentally, Mark Prior has never scared me. He's probably no mental giant, but he's probably no mental midget, either. What would really make me happy is if Mark saw the light at the end of the PHYSICAL tunnel. Last time I checked, and I'm no brain surgeon, but the human brain doesn't have the capacity to throw 95 mph fastballs and 83 mph yellowhammers on it's own. See, it needs these things called a shoulder, rotator cuff, some ligaments, muscles and bones, and the lack of a uterus (for overhand throwing). Mark's still working on that last one.

Welcome back, Kerry.

Phil Rogers, Wrong As Can Be

Phil Rogers in the morning:

Kerry Wood seems unlikely to re-sign with the Cubs, who then would pursue a proven reliever to replace him.

Cubs.com in the afternoon:

CHICAGO -- The Chicago Cubs and right-handed pitcher Kerry Wood have agreed to terms on a one-year contract for the 2008 campaign. Terms of the deal were not disclosed.

Insightful.

Your First Offseason Wood, Prior Update

Kerry Wood isn't coming back? So says Phil Rogers today:

Kerry Wood seems unlikely to re-sign with the Cubs, who then would pursue a proven reliever to replace him. It's also getting closer to crunch time on Mark Prior, who could be traded or non-tendered if he hasn't agreed to a deal by Dec. 12. The Cubs want him to give them an option for 2009 in addition to a one-year deal for '08, his last season before free agency.

Makes sense. The Cubs got too many innings from Wood last year (though I do understand the need to not overpay Kerry, given his tendency to break things and fall down in the bathtub).