IAN's All-Purpose Thunder Matt Murton Love Letter Post

Thunder Matt is in Chicago (well, Tampa). And, he's bringing orange back. It was never out. He just decided that it needs to be more awesomer. So, I dyed my hair solar-flare orange. Mrs. IAN can't contain herself. I'm getting "19" sewn on the back of all my golf shirts that I wear to work. I want people to know that I love Matt Murton. I'm not afraid of it, either.

Why the sudden commitment to Thunder? Well, it seems as though after his recall earlier in the week, Murton has no one options left (Many thanks to Maddog for checking me on this, as he usually does. Hey, if he'll continually check my work, why not screw it up all the time?). This means that he's either up for good and we never have to see the likes of Eric "Striking Resemblance to Corey" Patterson for a while, or he'll be traded once Soriano gets back and be included in a deal for a new starting pitcher (starting pitchers are a whole other can of tacos for a whole other can of tacos post...I don't even know what that means).

Whatever happens, I'm just glad Thunder is back. It's widely known that I have a man-crush on Matt Murton. Look, I can't help myself. He's like the cute flight attendant you can't stop checking out. I hope he can make the most of his stay in Chicago. If he can help the Cubs, then I'm going to be really excited. But, if the Cubs can trade him to an organization where he can play everyday (just not Houston, Pittsburgh, Cincinnati or St. Louis) and not have his career sabotaged any longer, then more power to him.

Lou also mentioned that Fukudome will stay in the leadoff spot. Good news for the lineup. Common sense took 72 games to take hold, but I'll give Lou the benefit of the doubt (because the Cubs are 45-27), or else he'll rip my skull off my body. I hope this pays off and I think it'll be a good move, with Soto and DeRosa moving up.

At any rate, good luck to Thunder Matt, even if this is his swan song in a Cubs uniform.

That Soriano Really Tied the Outfield Together

In case you live under a rock, you might not know that Alfonso Soriano was beaned in the hand and face by a Jeff Bennett fastball last night. Soriano was inspected by the trainer, then left the game. The prognosis is a fractured hand. He is scheduled to miss up to 6 weeks.

I fractured a bone in my hand (the right metacarpal) four weeks ago and just got my hand out of a brace yesterday. I can't lift weights (for the ladies) or play softball (for me) or golf (for breaking more hands) for another 10 days, then I'm instructed to "take it light" afterwards. So, expect a 2007 Derrek Lee-esque return from the DL once Soriano is healed.

Now, what do the Cubs do for the next 6-to-8 weeks? Knowing Lou, DeRosa will move to LF and Fontenot will take over at 2B. Micah Hoffpauir will probably be brought up earlier than expected (today) and play LF against the Braves today and DH during Interleague Play. Now, six weeks is a very long time (and I'm not optimistic about Soriano returning in that time) and the Cubs have some options:

• Let Hoffpauir play LF. I'd like to see this happen.
• Move DeRosa to LF and let Fontenot play 2B. This would suck (it breaks my heart to say it), because Fontenot would be a regular. This was the scenario earlier when Soriano hopped his way onto the DL.
• Recall Matt Murton. This might happen anyway, with the Cubs wanting an extra bat for Interleague Play.
• Use Edmonds in LF. Meh.
• Trade. If the Cubs were looking at bopping CFs, now is the time to pull the trigger. Bad Kermit mentioned Carlos Beltran yesterday. Just sayin', it's an intriguing thought. In a trade situation, somebody would have to swallow their pride and move to LF. We know Reed Johnson would do anything to get on the field, but he's the weekest hitter in the outfield. Edmonds is a jerk, but who knows?

My gut tells me that the Cubs will pull the DeRosa/Fontenot situation the most. Hoffpauir may get a chance to see what he can do in LF, which wouldn't be so bad if he can continue to hit. We'll just wait and see. It's not been Hendry's track record to make an immediate impact via trade when something like this goes down. I think the Cubs will be fine, especially if Theriot's .322/.400 can carry over to leading off.

There's still an ass-ton of baseball left to be played. I'll still drink beer and watch. It'll be interesting, indeed.

A Zoo for Douchepistols

Mark DeRosa's MLBlog, named "The Pulse," has seriously become a playground for the most douchecannonry of Cubs fans.

If you don't believe me, check it out here. The blog entry is borderline Top Gun and "features" an interview between DeRosa and Theriot. I'm 91.3% sure I'm not happy about the things I read there, Mark and Ryan. However, the comments are what make me want to kick myself in the face from embarassment.

And, if you like pithy one-liners (that I couldn't possibly come up with) describing our pure hatred for these types of Cubs fans, check out Bad Kermit's berating of them in his latest.

Sometimes, Cubs fans, I hate you so much.

Mark DeRosa Is "The Pulse"

Which also happens to be the new name of his blog:

Thanks for all the suggestions for a blog title. It's now "The Pulse," which is something my teammates have called me for the last two years. Everything goes through me. My teammates know it. The fans see the superstars and all this stuff. I'm the glue, baby. I'm the guy who floats from the No. 1 man to the 25th man. I'm somewhere in the 15, 13 range. I'm the bell curve.

Which of course means we're now going to have to rank 1-25 for the Cubs.

Mark DeRosa, Blogger

Mark DeRosa is back to blogging, in which he is soliciting names for his blog.

How about www.jimhendryhungmeouttodryalloffseason.com? Or, www.doyoureallythink2bisourbiggestneed.com?

Those are a little clunky, so we may need to go with acronyms.

Thunder Matt Hostage Crisis Continues

Seems as though bunny-hops in the outfield are tricky business. Yesterday, the Cubs had the opportunity to bring up Thunder Matt Murton from Iowa to take Soriano's place in the lineup. As of this morning, Murton is hitting .333/.333/.458 with an 8/4 BB/K ratio. Granted, he's been all singles so far and only has 2 RBI in 12 games, but you and I know that he'll do more than that eventually.

Well, conventional wisdom would be to call him up? Right? Riiiiiight? The last thing this Cubs braintrust (I'm looking at you, Hendry) is known for is conventional wisdom.

Instead of replacing a bonafide hitter in LF with another bonafide hitter who plays LF, the Cubs call up K-Strut's little bro. I don't have much against Eric Patterson, but we all know that he'll just rot on the bench until Hendry either realizes the err of his ways and calls Murton up or until Soriano returns.

In the meantime, Mike Fontenot will get the majority of the playing time at 2B with DeRosa moving to LF. Normally, this LSU-swollen lineup would really get my gears going. But, it's just senseless to continue to ruin a good player's career in AAA when this was the ideal time to bring him up, and at the very least, showcase him for a trade to somebody who wants him.

Shame on you, Jim Hendry. You, sir, are a gingerist.

To Replay Or Not To Replay

Poor Philly: The Phillies are feeling victimized by the lack of replay in baseball, while across the parking lot the 76ers are burned by the presence of replay.

The DeRosa Challenge

In this week's Sports Illustrated, Mark DeRosa says his "favorite thing to microwave" is M&Ms -- "for 27 seconds."

Well, The Office is still in reruns...so, I just tried it out.

Grabbed a healthy handful of M&Ms, put them in microwavable cereal bowl, and hit it for 27 seconds exactly.

The Result: It's alright. The hard shell stays hard, but the chocolate inside melts to a good, comfortable stage. Not gooey and messy, but warm and on the yummy side. Like a warm chocolate chip in a cookie. The hard shell does crack a bit, but nothing oozes out and it doesn't lose its crunch.

Overall, I'd give it a B-. Not as good as a Snickers or Milky Way or mint chocolate Girl Scout cookies in the freezer. The minus is because while you'd go out of your way to freeze the above chocolaty snacks, the DeRosa Ms recipe gives me no reason to go out of my way to microwave M&Ms for exactly 27 seconds.

Much better things out there to microwave.

Try it at home and add your own review

And clearly, I need new episodes of The Office -- desperately.

DeRosa Taken To Hospital ...

... with an irregular heartbeat. Girl-type Cubs fans set up creepy vigil.

Lou says he's "doing fine" but a "little nervous."

Update: Good news. He's out.

Quick, Get Me A Crappy 2B!

So, it's official: Jacque to Detroit for Omar Infante, which apparently doesn't mean they have given up on Kaz Matsui (according to Ken Rosenthal):

Infante, a right-handed hitter, likely will play second base, shortstop and center field for the Cubs. His addition will not preclude the Cubs from pursuing second baseman Kaz Matsui as a free agent, but the team's greater priority is finding a left-handed hitting outfielder.

Second base is the left field of the '08 Cubs. Infante, Theriot, Fontenot, DeRosa, possibly Matsui. Add them all together and you still don't have one Sandberg.

Addendum: Thank you to Nutsack for his vigilance and excellence in Cubs reporting in first noticing this, as included in comment number 4 in this post.

Mark DeRosa, Blogger

Mark DeRosa has a playoff blog, undoubtedly a new vehicle for cubbiejulie to violate the restrainging order.

Just Another Night At Wrigley

Mark DeRosa caused some distress in Wisconsin tonight, youbetcha. And, yes, he was one of those expensive free-agent signings some giggled about. As was Alfonso Soriano, who hit the two-run homer to win it Saturday afternoon. As was Aramis Ramirez, who hit the two-run triple to tie it tonight. As was Ted Lilly, who just keeps winning.

Cubs Lack That Feeling (So Far)

At least one rider of goats is feeling bullish on the Cubs. As for me, I'm just not sure.

Tonight, for example. One moment, Kendall has a big RBI, the next Derrek Lee flies out with the bases loaded, the next DeRosa hits a three-run homer, the next Soriano pulls a Brant Brown in left field.

So far, it's working out tonight, as the Astros aren't very good. But the '03 Cubs did everything right in September (not so much in a couple of October nights). This team, well, they do things right once every few days.

The Dome Is Back, Colorfully

Has anyone else noticed the new jarring color scheme at The Dome Is Haunted?

Scared me. But I'm OK. As is Mark DeRosa, who just hit a big, big home run.

Cubs.com, Not Serving Us Well

As of 7:51 p.m. EST, the lead video highlight on cubs.com is a Mark DeRosa home run against the Rockies (presumably this year, but you can never be sure).

Um, guys, didn't something exciting happen today? On the TV? There must be video...

Cubs Lose Another At Home

That's the Ryan Dempster we know and love. Unfortunately, that is also the Albert Pujols we ... well, you know.

Interesting game despite the 12-9 loss, with big hits from Aramis Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano (welcome back) and Mark DeRosa (sorta).

Cubs Lock Up Series Win

Carlos Zambrano dominates, Mark DeRosa and Aramis Ramirez keep hitting, and Ryan Dempster gets the easy save for a 6-3 win and a road-series win. Good stuff.

Go say hi to our friends at Chuckie Hacks and thank them for their hospitality at Miller Park the last two days.

Mark De Rosa, Fall Guy

Good to see the Cubs worrying about important things this spring training:

It's just an exhibition game, but don't tell that to Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild. The Cubs disputed a scorer's call in Wednesday's game at HoHoKam Park in which Carlos Zambrano was charged with two earned runs. After some initial hesitation, Mark De Rosa eventually was charged with an error one day after the fact, and both runs became unearned. The official scorer during spring games is an official from the home team.

DeRosa Makes Christmas Wish

In this mlb.com interview with Mark DeRosa, we learn he is 1. Italian, 2. surprisingly muscle-y, and 3. not so much the splurger. After signing a $13 million contract with the Cubs, he bought a new set of golf clubs. Which, even on the high end, couldn't have cost him more than $1,500 - $2,000 for a completely complete set.

But his Christmas wish is a good one, assuming he means for the Cubs. It is slightly more realistic than world peace, which tops most holiday wish lists.

MLB.com: What's on your holiday wish list?

DeRosa: For Christmas? Nothing. When I signed my contract [with the Cubs], I bought myself a new set of golf clubs and told my wife that was my Christmas gift to myself. Me and my wife take care of each other during the year so much, Christmas is all about our daughter and our families and other people. We don't concentrate on ourselves.

Here's what I wish for -- I wish for a healthy season and a World Series title.

Since he's claimed the easy one, my Christmas wish would help make DeRosa's wish come true - a healthy Mark Prior.

Oh, and world peace. And a pony.