Canadian Dempster Has Some Company

But the Canadian Press only refers to Justin Morneau as "Canada's Justin Morneau" in the headline, unlike Canadian Dempster or Canadian Ryan Dempster.

Perhaps there's something fishy going on with his citizenship. Or he killed a guy once. We should check with the Mayor of Canada on this. I believe his name is Pierre.

Hey Dude! The Reds Will Be Noisy

FoxSports.com says the Cincinnati Reds could make some noise in '08, though the Cubs and Brewers are "better on paper."

Other teams that could by noisy? The Twins, Rays and Sammy-less Rangers.

Huh? Since When?

La Velle E. Neal, III (Esquire, et al) of the Minneapolis-St. Paul Star-Tribune tickles all our unmentionables at the bottom of his column. You, sir, are a fabricator of falsehoods. I call bull squash.

One would think the gaping holes at shortstop (sorry, Riot) and the starting rotation would be places to start rumors.

Cubs Involved In Shady AL Central Dealings

The Cubs very well may be running some sort of mediocre outfielder laundering business for the AL Central.

A day after sending former Twins outfielder Jacque Jones to the Tigers, the Cubs traded former Tigers outfielder Craig Monroe to the Twins.

Why couldn't the Twins and Tigers have taken care of this themselves at some point? Why did they have to inflict their mediocrity on poor unsuspecting Cubs fans?

The Commissioner should appoint a washed-up former senator to investigate that. And pronto.

Pat Neshek Sets A New Record

Pat Neshek, a Minnesota Twins reliever and the author of the On The Road With Pat Neshek blog, sets a North American record for using the word "guy" in one answer to a question (in an e-mail interview with Buster Olney):

You could give that honor to about any guy on our team … If I had to pick one guy that sticks out in my mind it would be Mike Redmond. I really don't know how to describe it but I really look up to the guy. He's a veteran guy who, when he was coming out of college, was one of the guys who wasn't supposed to make it, and he did. He knows when to be serious, how to pitch guys, how to inspire, how to pump up guys and most important knows how to make everyone on the team laugh. The guy is hilarious. Nearly everyday he says something, does something or does a "naked walk" that makes you laugh until it hurts. You can really tell the mood of the team just by checking in with Red.

For the record, that's seven "guys" in 141 words - or once every 20 words.

I would add something on Mike Redmond doing the "naked walk" to the apparent delight of the Twins, but I'll leave you with this picture of him instead:

Very Superstitious, Writing's On The Wall

Justin Morneau is nuts. Er, superstitious. In an endearing way.