New England Patriots, Cheaters (Chapter 3,731)

Tsk tsk.

New England Patriots, Cheaters (Again, Or Still)

Oohhhhhh, somebody could be in trouble:

A former New England Patriots employee has sent the N.F.L. eight videotapes showing the team recorded play-calling signals by coaches of five opponents in six games between the 2000 and 2002 seasons, in violation of league rules. ...

Walsh’s tapes show that the Patriots recorded the signals of offensive and defensive coaches in regular-season games against the Miami Dolphins, the Buffalo Bills, the Cleveland Browns and the San Diego Chargers and against the Pittsburgh Steelers in the 2002 American Football Conference championship game. In that game, the tape has been edited to show Steelers coaches signaling plays, followed by two different camera angles of the actual plays that were called.

Wait just a minute!? I thought the NFL said when they destroyed the Jets game tapes that there was nothing more to see and we should all go about our business? Odd.

Additionally, the Times story also notes:

During the initial investigation into the Patriots, the league accepted seven tapes gathered by the team, dating to 2006, while collecting a written promise that it possessed no more. The N.F.L. destroyed the tapes that the Patriots turned over.

So, none of the tapes Walsh handed over were in the batch originally shared by the Patriots. Then again, I'm not sure why they would keep tapes that are five to seven years old.

Note: The consensus seems to be there's nothing new here, because the Patriots had told the NFL they had been doing this. Which, of course, raises the question: Why wasn't the NFL transparent about what they found all along?

Power To The Patriot People

A Patriots fan seeks to overturn the Super Bowl via petition because ... well, after reading the petition, I can only conclude it is because he's an ass. Oh, and something to do with clock problems. But mostly because he's an ass.

Sign his petition today!

A Good Deal On Amazon

For you Patriots fans.

Arrogance Of New England Fan Benefits McCain

The smugness that is Boston is nicely summed up in this post at the National Review:

I am so confident of both a Patriots win today and a Romney win in Massachusetts on Tuesday that I made this pledge on the air Friday: "If the NY Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, I will cast my Super Duper Tuesday primary vote for (shudder) John McCain."

Oops.

Bill Belichick: Ass

Way to not stay on the field for the final second of your Super Bowl loss, you arrogant, cheating evil genius. And, don't try to say that you didn't know, because I saw you speaking to head referee Mike Carey before you carried your sissy little carcass off the field.

Though I guess you'll be fine, after a stiff cocktail and some snuggling over at ESPN headquarters. Happy 1972 Miami Dolphins Live On Forever Day.

Update from Wrigleyville: This sums it up best (with sound on, if you're not at work).

Let The Bill Simmons Countdown Begin

How long will it take him to acknowledge the Super Bowl this year?

It took five full days last year, even though he was sent to Miami to cover the festivities (he was too much of a weenie to stay and watch the Colts win).

I will give him the benefit of the doubt and say he will have something up tomorrow.

Predictions?

Also: Whose fault will the loss be? The media? The NFL? The officials? Peyton? The Trilateral Commission?

Update: A story is up first thing in the morning. Wrigleyville is prescient.

Different Year, Different Manning, Same Result For Patriots

Giants win. Patriots lose. Pity.

I wonder if this guy is getting tired of the Manning Face he loves to write about so much.

New England Patriots, NFL - Getting What They Deserve

Here on Super Bowl Sunday, there's lots of squawking about the New England Patriots being cheater, cheater pumpkin eaters - from opportunistic senators and even hometown newspapers.

While I'm inclined to think: "Let it go, already" ... the Patriots and the NFL have it coming for the team's arrogant lack of contrition and the league's inexplicable decision to destroy evidence (and not look into further allegations because "the team said it wasn't true." Well, then.).

Gregg Easterbrook rightly says the NFL only has itself to blame for the sideshow that is detracting from its biggest event.

The Wrigleyville23 NFL Playoff Preview

Seattle Seahawks @ Green Bay Packers, 4:30 p.m. Saturday, on television.
Jacksonville Jaguars @ New England Patriots, 8 p.m. Saturday, on television.
San Diego Chargers @ Indianapolis Colts, 1 p.m. Sunday, on television.
New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys, 4:30 p.m. Sunday, on television.

Check your local listings*, and be sure to stop by Wrigleyville23 on Monday (or maybe Sunday night if the Colts win) for your Wrigleyville23 NFL Playoff Review.

* I have no idea if these times and days are actually correct, because I did them from memory. You may want to check for yourselves. Then again, if you're relying on Wrigleyville23 for your TV and sports schedules, you deserve whatever you get.

Huckabee OK With Losing - Super Bowl

Mike Huckabee would rather be president than have his favorite team - the Cowboys - win the Super Bowl. Faced with hostile Patriots fans who learned he was a Cowboys fan, he said: "This year, I could live with just getting (to the Super Bowl)."

Mike, Mike, Mike: Don't pander away your sports loyalties. It's unforgivable (see Clinton, Hillary).

One other note: He's also a St. Louis Cardinals fan. Shame.

New England Patriots, Cheaters And Just Plain Dirty

A full-service Web site would have this on video for you, but ... how typical of the Patriots was it when Vince Wilfork poked Brandon Jacobs in the eye late in the second quarter of tonight's game? If there is more general assery on a team than the New England Patriots, I have yet to see it.

New England Patriots, Cheaters And Asses

Just watching the Patriots turn the ball over four times (so far) against the 1-13 Dolphins, and I can't help but notice the level of assery on that team. Mild seizures after routine tackles, flexing and pointing after giving up a healthy gain, and even the punter acted like a contestant on Deal or No Deal after, well, punting the ball.

It will be a good day when they lose in January.

So... Who Are The Nazis?

Bill Simmons says it's the Colts. Wrigleyville says it's the Patriots.

Steakhouse Magnate Opines On Patriots

Perhaps Don Shula is the wrong person to suggest that the Patriots should be subjected to the dreaded asterisk if they go undefeated.

If Bill Simmons Covered World War II

By The German Guy
Page 2

Right after Germany bombed Paris, clearing the way for Nazi occupation of France, I got a six-word telegram from my friend Rolf:

“Here comes the Eff You Parade.”

Eleven days later, it happened: the Germans marched up the Champs Elysees to occupy Paris for the second time this century. Normally, you quickly take over a conquered country … but not this World War. The Nazis took the “Eff you” goose step right up a nation’s most hallowed street. It’s their little way of telling the rest of the world, “You took shots at us with the Treaty of Versailles, you destroyed our economy for more than a decade, you pretended we were the only belligerent nation in a war-torn continent when everyone does it, so you know what? Eff you.”

You might remember me bringing this up in my Holland battle column: “Yeah, it’s wrong to overrun minor nations with no standing army. I’d be the first one to admit it. But it’s a natural reaction to the way Germany was vilified for two straight decades. The rest of the world turned them into a mutant cross between Genghis Kahn and Ivan the Terrible, so screw it, they’re acting like Genghis the Terrible. Can you blame them? I can’t answer that one objectively, so I won’t try. But if you don’t think they’ll be running up the body count in France, you’re crazy.”

And what happened in France? Facing an opponent that rolls over at the word “boo,” Germany commenced a climactic relentless drive into Paris by capturing and killing tens of thousands of Frenchmen. They pushed them off the peninsula, forcing them to submit or flee to Britain, Africa and God knows where else.

As you might have heard by now, Germany is 8-0, they’re marching over whole nations, and Hitler might quintuple Stalin’s body count before all is said and done. In each of those eight victories, they specifically attacked and overran a considerably weaker opponent for no good reason. Here's a partial list:

France: 90,000 killed, 200,000 wounded, and 1,800,000 captured.
Belgium: 23,350 casualties
The Netherlands: 9,779 casualties
Poland: 6,092 casualties

What does this all mean, other than we should start preparing ourselves for the first empire since the Ottoman Empire fell in 1922? We have our first potentially dominant nation-state since the Industrial Revolution began, but more importantly, we have our first great European villain since Jack the Ripper. People hate this country. They want them to lose. It's like having the Roman Empire back, only if everyone despised them and Julius Caesar didn’t look so good in a toga.

Regardless of how you feel about the 1939 Nazis, at the very least, you have to admit the following three things:

1. You haven't seen war fought this well in a long time. Three weeks ago, Charles Lindbergh telegrammed me to say he was headed to the United States and asked if there were talkies available yet of the march on Paris. When I asked why he didn’t just wait to watch in a theater when he got there, Lindbergh explained he didn’t wait that long – the Nazis are fighting at such a high level, he was fascinated with them in a way that went way beyond warfare. And it's true. We haven't seen anything like this with warfare in a while. When the French briefly fought fiercely to allow the Evacuation of Dunkirk in late May, the thing that amazed me wasn't that it happened, but how assured I was the Germans would immediately answer by overrunning France. There was no doubt in my mind. Honestly, I haven't felt this way about a German administration since the fall of the Western Roman Empire.

2. Barring a massive onset of trench foot, it's going to be an enormous, enormous deal if somebody beats Germany this war. That's the sign of a truly great nation, regardless of the era. During the last century, my great grandfather told me, he watched the French under Napoleon fight – and defeat – almost every major European power and thought, “There's no way in hell they can be beaten. You'd need about 35 things to happen.” As it turned out, they defeated all of their opponents, except for two disastrous excursions into Russia – leading first to an exile to Elba and then his infamous end at Waterloo. Yeah, Germany under Bismark was strong, so were the Americans and the British. But the early 19th century French were on a different level, and we haven’t seen anything like it since. Now we’re seeing it again.

3. It's fun to have a old-school villain in the world again, right? There's a reason every war movie has a bad nation in it.

Over the past 23 years, we’ve found more and more ways to become attached to our homelands – isolationism, ethnic purity, runaway inflation. With the pacts with Italy and the Soviet Union signed, I’m rooting for so many different things that I can’t keep track of everything. But here's a case in which war has been reduced to the purest form:

A great nation broke the rules and paid the price; the League of Nations and the media had a field day excoriating Germany for what happened; somewhere along the line, people decided the nation’s conquests were tainted even though the world community stood silently on the sidelines; and that’s when the nation made the collective decision, “You know what? Eff you!”

It's a two-word phrase that can't be printed on SS.com, but it's become the mantra of the Third Reich campaign. Eff you. You can see it with every rubbing-it-in goose step in the post-victory parade, as well as every "Get 'em a body bag ... YEAHHHHHHHHH!" reaction in the command center after it happens. You can see it with Rommell's ticked-off game face that hasn't changed for three straight years. You can see it with Hitler’s super-satisfied grin during the post-battle handshake with the deposed leader.

It's a great nation with an even greater edge. If you're rooting against them, you hate them for it. If you're rooting for them, you love it and feel the same way. Best of all, there's no middle ground. Maybe the 1930s Germans were caught breaking international law, but only one signal matters anymore: two middle fingers turned toward the sky.

Boston, Boston, Boston, Boston, Boring

There are 19 questions in Bill Simmons' mini-mailbag today. Fourteen are directly related to the Red Sox or Patriots, and he works in the Sox in answers to two of the non-Boston questions.

Which raises the question:

1. Are only Boston fans reading him any more?

2. Or does he only take questions from people who ask Boston-related questions?

Either way, he's drifting into unreadability again after a relatively strong summer. This is the second column in a row I just couldn't get through.

His hissy fits about the Colts have subsided considerably, though he does enter into this strange dream sequence today about two Colts players falling in love and refusing to play until Tony Dungy supports their right to be together.

Hey, Have You Heard?

Boston blah blah blah sunny blah blah blah JD Drew blah blah blah Patriots blah blah blah 7-0 blah blah blah masturbation blah blah blah OHHHH!!! blah blah blah World Series blah blah blah sycophantic reader emails blah blah blah Beckett blah blah blah.

There. No reason to even read it.

Sick Of Boston? Read This

One of the greatest things ever to appear on the Interweb.

New England Patriots, Cheaters (Update)

Gregg Easterbrook has an interesting tidbit on the NFL's destroying the videotapes of the New England Patriots' cheating ways:

This weekend, in an e-mail exchange with NFL spokesman Greg Aiello, I asked twice whether the Patriots' documents contained evidence of cheating in the Super Bowl, and Aiello twice declined to either confirm or deny the existence of such evidence. The first time, he changed the subject with a detailed response about the original penalty; and the second time, after I protested he hadn't answered my questions, he replied, "I did answer your questions to the extent I'm going to answer them."

As a matter of logic, refusing to deny something is not the same as admitting it. But if the Patriots' tapes and documents contained no indication of cheating in the Super Bowl, it would be strongly in the NFL's interest to publicize this. Instead, the New England documents were shredded within roughly 48 hours of the NFL receiving them -- see timeline below. The rapid shredding occurred although Goodell said nothing about plans to destroy the materials when he was on national TV vowing his purpose was "maintaining the integrity of the NFL."

After Aiello twice declined to say what the Patriots' materials showed, I heard from him a third time Sunday. He wrote in an e-mail that my assumption the tapes contained indications of Super Bowl cheating is "wrong," then wrote, "There is no such evidence regarding the Patriots' Super Bowl victories." So, is this the denial that I've been seeking? But wait: Three days earlier, the NFL destroyed the evidence. I asked Aiello whether he meant there is no evidence now of New England cheating in a Super Bowl -- that is, after the destruction of the files -- or whether examination of the materials positively affirmed no cheating. He did not reply.

I'll say it again. Cheaters, cheaters, pumpkin eaters.